Sunday, May 14

Band

I don't know how they managed to track me down, here in the medical bay, sitting by Tamar's side. I watch his little chest rising and falling, grateful for every movement. Tomorrow, we'll see the doctor and hopefully get some answers.

"Mrs. Lancier?"

The name sounds foreign. No one has called me it in a long time. I glance up at the man in military uniform. He hands me a parcel, salutes, and departs.

Carefully, I open the wrapping and a silver band falls into my palm. It's smudged with ash. I clean it on the hem of my shirt, finally recognizing the design. Eric's. My heart catches in my throat, as if this presents the final realization he's truly gone. He had promised he would never take it off. A part of my heart withers and fades completely.

"Mama?"

I meet the blue-gray eyes of my youngest child, gripping the ring tightly in my fist. "I'm here, baby."

I can feel the metal warming, imprinting itself into my palm. Tomorrow, I'll cast it into the lake on our estate, and bid my final goodbye. Moving forward is the only option now.

Tuesday, April 25

Visions

Lately, I find myself unable to sleep, my mind plagued by unclear images of my past. I watch my children and wonder how it would be if I had been afforded such innocence as a young girl. Would I be this conflicted in my adult life, if my emotions hadn't been so sorely tampered with? Built up and destroyed many times over.

Loss is a terrible thing to suffer alone, and you do suffer it alone, no matter how many people surround you, or how many happy moments you might have during the day. It creeps up, in the quiet hours of the night, or in contemplative moments by the fireside.

My family, friends, and business provide little comfort, when I feel this gaping hole in my heart. I don't know if I will ever be able to fill it again. I see glimmers of hope in the distance, but I don't know if I can grasp onto them...or if I want to.

Eric was, and always will be, a part of my being, and when that part vanished, I lost my grounding. I lost the man who provided me with the only stability I had ever known. Even now, things are so uncertain, and there is almost too much turmoil around me to focus clearly on a happy outcome.

When I close my eyes, I remember a woman, gray intertwined in her red hair, like ash among flame. I am reaching for her, for those pieces of fire. She whispers comfort to me, singing in a low, melodic voice. At first, I wonder if she's an angel, but no. My father tells me she was my grandmother, a fiercely proud woman with a gift for seeing the future.

When I was born, she took me from my mother's arms, he says. Mother protested vehemently, for she was and is that kind of cold-hearted woman, unwilling to share even a glimmer of joy with anyone else, but my grandmother did not listen. She drew me away to a chair in the corner of the room, my father kneeling at her side.

"She will be desired. She will be loved. She will be adored. Yet, her heart will know many sorrows, and she may never find happiness. She is my blood, and she will carry on my soul."

With a throaty breath, my father says she died there and then, and I let out a horrific wail, unable to be consoled for many weeks. My mother grew angry, blaming my father, and blaming me. Her hatred grew with each passing day of my life, until I fled.

I wonder why he never thought to tell me this story before now, when my heart is at its heaviest. Is this what drives me to foolishness? The fighting pits? Irresponsible situations?

I close my eyes, trying to find some rest, not wanting to rely on anymore drugs to blank my mind. She is there. The moonlight caught in her rich, auburn strands.

"Lasairiona Raske...my namesake. You will fly."

My eyes flash open. She is gone.

Saturday, February 21

Counting Stars

I locked the doors to L'Amore, dismissing the staff for a paid day off. I needed to be alone with myself. Moving to the DJ panel, I switched on the music, and lowered the lights, allowing spots to spin in slow circles on the parquet flooring. Slipping off my heels, I felt the cool wood beneath my feet as I walked to the center. I let the music infuse my form as I moved to the beat. The multi-colored skirt swirled around my legs as I let myself feel every stretch and leap of the dance. Although the moves were old as time, they felt new to me. The tears fell as I remembered every part of my past, leading up to that moment I got the message Eric was dead.

Collapsing to the floor at the end, I curled into a ball, sobbing in the silence. "Why did you have to go away?" My voice was barely a whisper. I wanted to close L'Amore to the world. This was our place, inspired by our love. It seemed futile to keep something so meaningful alive. So, I ran.

Saturday, December 6

Yuletide at L'Amore

Upon entering the formal venue, guests are greeted warmly by the staff. Security checks are performed and they are allowed a greater glimpse at their surroundings. Delicious scents waft through the air, ranging from roast meats to rich spices. The band plays a variation of seasonal songs, while a trio of female singers in glitzy gowns serenade the guests. The atmosphere is light and cheerful.

Tables are arranged around the wooden dance floor, illuminated by candlelight and decorated with red and green floral arrangements. By the bar, there is a buffet table with foods from every corner of the cluster and delicate desserts to tempt and entice the palate. Guests are invited to sample the foods at their leisure.

The bar is amply stocked with wines, champagne, and other drinks, all complementary for this evening of celebration and festivity.

A fixture of the establishment, the fireplace is adorned festively, boasting a rather large tree decorated in glowing lights and baubles. The wood crackles and the glowing flames send shadows up the walls. The plush, velvet covered chairs are arranged around a low table, perfect for intimate conversation or simple reflection.

The owner and hostess, Lasairiona Raske-Lancier, gowned in a rich burgundy frock, moves around the venue, making sure everyone is comfortable and enjoying their time. Making a rare appearance, her daughter, Madeleine, flits through the crowds, nabbing desserts from the buffet table and reveling in her fortune at being allowed to attend such an adult affair.

Friday, November 14

Observer

A lone figure in black approaches the chained doors of what used to be some sort of nightclub venue. As you watch from afar, slender fingers make quick work of the lock and the person disappear into the darkness. Quickly, you follow, sliding in just behind them, like a ghost. The click of the door closing echos through the abandoned premises. No one has bothered to clear away any of the old furniture and it is covered in the thin layer of dust. The figure pauses, as if remembering the nights when the walls rang with joyous laughter, political debate, and general conversation about day-to-day happenings.
Slipping behind the bar, they run their gloved fingertips over a bottle of wine, revealing the label. If you listen carefully, you can hear the audible sigh, exposing our mysterious figure as a woman. She lowers the black hooded cloak to expose her short, red hair. Removing the gloves, she blows gently on the bottles, trying to recapture their newness. If you look closely, there might be a small tear forming in her green eyes, but you cannot be entirely sure.
The sound of her heeled boots reverberate throughout as she crosses the wooden flooring, passing upturned tables and chairs. Entering a room adjacent to the bar area, you see what must have been a casino, the games sucked of the life and entertainment once provided to the patrons. She moves deliberately to a door and punches in a key code, the combination still fresh in her memory as if it were yesterday.
The office smells musty and there is a metallic scent in the air combined with some sort of cleaning solution. Someone has hastily cleaned and returned order to the surroundings, but you know something terrible happened here. Your chest tightens as you watch her feel the wall for a hidden panel. She stops suddenly and presses slowly. A small compartment swings open. A light flickers on, illuminating the cubbyhole.
You peer over her shoulder, a forever silent observer to this strange series of events. Inside, something glints, reflecting in shimmering sparks off the sides of the vault. She withdraws it and cradles it in her hands, the plastic wrapping crinkling in the silence. Curiosity overwhelms you. What is this precious package, kept secreted away?
She takes it over to the desk, placing her palm flat on the surface. Her eyes close, brow furrows as if she is pained by the memory of this very place. Stop stalling! You want to scream, but you're mute, tense with anticipation.
The packaging is removed at an excruciatingly slow pace. You hold your breath. This is the moment you have been waiting for. The denouement of this bizarre episode. A sudden noise from outside. She freezes. Voices calling out. The package disappears into her cloak. No! You were so close!
They are coming. She has to get out. She's been here before though and knows. Another secret panel and she's gone. Security officers flood the room, but it's empty.

Thursday, November 6

Reflections

How do you pretend you do not care when former friends approach you for help? I know I could not. Thus, after nearly two years, I return to where it all began and I find memories, good and bad around every corner.

Eric and I have been married for nearly a year. Our family life is hectic, but we manage. He is a wonderful father and husband. I realize now this is what I deserved from the very beginning. I feel cheated I spent so many years in limbo, but if I had not suffered through all the pain, I would not be where I am today.

I know it pains Eric to see me back in a corporation I fled. I think he fears I will revert back to having the feelings I had before we got together. All I can do is assure him that life is behind me for good. Sometimes, a part of me wants to make amends and I wonder if what I did was for the best after all. The boys have consistency in their lives. They are healthy and thriving, even after the scare we had with Tamar. I could not imagine life without his sweet disposition and smile. I was willing to chance seeing Rel to get him healthy. I am sure she will come to me one day asking a favor which I will be obligated to fulfill.

I know I have to focus on my family and my career now, but I don't have the closure I long for. I do not know if I will ever get it. If I seek it out, it will cause all I know to crumble around me. So, I remain, fighting with this bitter enemy that is my past.

Saturday, December 21

A Wedding

In the gardens of Lasairiona Raske and Eric Lancier's estates, there sits a gazebo, veiled in moonlight and lit by candelabras. Plush chairs line a white velvet carpet leading up the gazebo. The scent of orchids fills the air. The wedding guests slowly filter in, Anabella accompanying Ava in order to look after her small boy, Mitja. Both Ava and Mitja are dressed in traditional Sebestior shamanic garb.

Eric exits the house, dressed dashingly in a new suit, and heads over to the small gathered party, holding Madeleine's hand. The little girl is wearing a brand new dress. She spies Mitja and makes a beeline for him, smiling warmly before hugging him and planting a big kiss on his cheek. This makes Mitja make a face, but he grudgingly accepts the kiss.

A pair of nursemaids make their way over holding the twins, Tyrion and Tamar. Both little boys are dressed in suits. They squirm a bit to get down and run around, but the nursemaids are used to their antics. One turns to Madeleine, "Madeleine, it's nearly time! Go back to the house please." Madeleine curtseys prettily to Ava and Mitja before scurrying off.

The quartet playing music switches tunes and soft music emits from a harp. The assembled guests move to their seats. Eric looks nervously down the aisle in anticipation. Madeleine comes down the aisle first, carrying a little bouquet of white roses in one hand and a little satin bag in the other. She takes her place next to Ava, with a big grin to Mitja.

Lasa appears on the arm of her father, Tyrion. Her hair swept up with flowers and a bouquet of white roses and orchids in her hand. The guests turn and smile. Eric's mouth drops open before he composes himself with a huge grin on his face. Lasa and Tyrion make their way down the aisle. Tyrion kisses Lasa on both cheeks and places her hand in Eric's, with a nod to the younger man and a wink. Eric smiles and nods back and the couple turn to face Ava as Tyrion takes a seat. From the back of the gathering, Vince heads in and sits, only slightly late.

Ava smiles to all and begins, "Good evening. We're here today to celebrate the joining of two paths, the marriage of Lasairiona and Eric, and appropriately, today is Midwinter. The day when the sun will begin its return to the sky, when winter will begin to relinquish its grip, a day that marks the beginning of another turn of the cosmic wheel." She pauses for a moment and continues, "As the years turn, so do the cycles of our lives. We all follow our own path, as best we are able, toward our ultimate goal. And that goal, that final destination for us, is the need to belong to something greater than the self, to be loved, to be a piece of something more. Few things bring us such joy as the union of two paths, of the joining of two lives, both for the individuals involved, and for their family and friends, their kin and kith. Why else would we all get dressed up in uncomfortable clothes and sit in stiff-backed chairs, eh? It must all be worth it."

Lasa giggles softly and looks up at Eric.

Eric grins fighting back a laugh. The rest of the guest laugh in turn to the remark.

Ava continues her speech, "And it is worth it; very few other moments in life will bring any of us such joy, such sense of community and togetherness, such a true feeling of oneness, as days like this, as events like this. All people, of all faiths - or no faith - need to belong. The greatest human need, by any measure, in any place, or any time, is simply that. And today, Lasairiona and Eric, we celebrate the two of you, having truly found that oneness, in one another.

Ava looks down at Madelyne, "I believe, someone has the tokens of that oneness... who is she, I wonder?"

Madeleine bounces and sets her little bouquet on a side table. She holds up her little bag. Ava takes the bag gently and bows again, "Thank you, Madelyne. We couldnt do this without you, you know?" Madeleine blushes and looks down.

Ava winks at her and carefully opens the bag, being sure not to touch the rings herself, and holds the bag in her hands in front of herself for a moment, "Rings, like that celestial cycle - and like our paths through life - are circular. No beginning, no end. And for them to work - to look their best,  to last a good long while - every piece must play its part. The band, the setting, the stone. With these rings, you are both vowing, to one another, before all assembled here, and to all who have come before, that you will do everything in your power to play your part in the new union you are creating. Please, each of you take the ring meant for your partner."


Lasa reaches into the bag and takes Eric's ring. Eric does likewise, removing Lasa's ring as well. Ava hands the bag back to Madeleine, reminding her to hold tightly onto it.

Ava turns to look at Lasa, "Do you, Lasairiona, agree to do all in your power to strengthen the union you are embarking upon, in wealth and ruin, in sickness and in health, in dark day and in bright sunshine, for as long as you both shall live?"

Lasa looks up at Eric, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, "I do."

Ava turns now to look at Eric, "And you, Eric, do you agree to do all in your power to strengthen the union you are embarking upon, in wealth and ruin, in sickness and in health, in dark day and in bright sunshine, for as long as you both shall live?"

Eric takes a deep breath and looks into Lasa's emerald eyes "I do"

Ava nods and continues, "Please, Lasa, place the ring you hold, upon Eric's hand."

Lasa takes Eric's hand in hers and slips the ring onto his left ring finger.

Ava smiles brightly, "And Eric, please place the ring you hold, upon Lasa's hand."

Eric gently places the ring on Lasa's finger.

"Then, unless anyone here has any acceptable reason why these two should not be united, why these two paths should not be joined as one...." Ava waits a moment before smiling brightly again, " ...then by the authority granted me by the Sebiestor Tribe, with all of those assembled as witnesses, I now pronounce you, Eric and Lasa, as husband, and wife." Ava bows a bit and steps back as she says, "You know what to do..."

Eric pulls Lasa softly towards him and leans in, tilting his head slightly as he places a long kiss on her lips.

Ava covers her mouth with her hands and tries to not squeal too loudly. The guests erupt in applause. She laughs as the kiss ends and turns to the guests, "As you all know, there will be a reception shortly. Having sat through this, and listening to me of all people talk, I hope you'll all go relax some."

After many well wishes from the assembled party, all depart to L'Amore in Ballo for the wedding reception.

((OOC Note: Very special thanks to Ava Starfire. What more can I say? She was amazing!))